How to show sadness in writing (with 5 examples from fiction)

Grief. Heartbreak. Melancholy. Anguish. Sorrow. Sadness comes in many different forms. Your characters feel and express their sadness in a variety of different ways too.

But whatever your characters are experiencing, you’ll always make more impact with your writing if you show rather than tell.

Wondering how to show sadness in writing? Then this is the post for you. Here we take a look at all the different ways authors can describe sadness – and take some inspiration from a few wonderful examples.

Why you should show sadness (instead of telling)

All writers, at some point in their careers are told: show, don’t tell. It’s one of fiction writing’s golden rules. And for good reason.

When you show, rather than tell, you make a reader feel more connected to your characters. You help them to experience a story on an emotional and sensory level. And you give them the freedom to exercise their imagination and powers of deduction.

Showing instead of telling is particularly important when your character is experiencing a strong emotion, like sadness.

Of course, you can simply tell your reader, “He felt sad”.

But you make your narrative much more engaging if you show your reader the sad behaviours, facial expressions, actions, speech and inner thoughts of your character.

All of this description immerses a reader in the sadness of your character. It helps them to relate to them. It also makes the reading experience a lot more interesting.

So how do you show sadness in writing? Let’s take a look.

How to show sadness in writing

Show sadness through character behaviour

If your character is visibly sad, another character (or your narrator) can relay details of their behaviour. Perhaps your character is crying or sobbing. Maybe they are sniffling, wiping their eyes or welling up with tears.

Sadness coupled with shock may prompt behaviours like curling up into a ball, dropping to the floor or hyperventilation. At other times, stillness, inaction and inertia can also be used to indicate a deep and affecting sadness.

Show sadness through interactions with other characters

Sadness affects how a character interacts with the other people around them.

They may want to be comforted, seeking a hug or a hand to hold. A stoic character may do the opposite, shunning affectionate physical contact in order to preserve a tough outward appearance.

A sad character may also behave differently towards others. They may be quieter or more irritable than usual. And they may find it hard to make eye contact.  

Show sadness through facial expressions

Facial expressions are another great way to show sadness in writing. A mouth is downturned. Eyes close or widen. A bottom lip trembles. A face crumples.

A person who is trying to conceal their sadness may clench their jaw, jut their chin or bite their lip. They may smile, but without the smile reaching the eyes.

Show sadness through character appearance

You don’t need to tell a reader that your character has been sad for some time. Instead, you can describe the ways in which sadness has affected their physical appearance.

They may have red, puffy or bloodshot eyes. Dark circles under someone’s eyes suggest that their grief or sadness is preventing them from sleeping. Weight loss is another way to show how sadness has impacted their daily routines.

Show sadness through character body language

When describing sadness through character body language, authors tend to go one of two ways.

They have their characters crumple. Their shoulders droop or they look to the ground. Their actions become slow or their gestures half-hearted.

Alternatively, a character tries to hold it all together. This results in a rigid posture. You can show sadness with the help of clenched fists, a straight back and shallow but controlled breathing.

Show sadness through speech

Speech and dialogue are really useful when you want to show sadness.

A character’s voice breaks as they try to speak. They may speak quietly or hoarsely. Their voice may be at a higher pitch than usual. Or their speech may be flat and monotone.

Moaning, mumbling, praying, wailing, sighing and excessive swallowing are all used to show sadness in writing.  

And don’t forget what is being said. Characters can’t always put their sadness into words. But they may speak more negatively than usual. Or struggle to speak at all.

Describe a character’s inner thoughts and feelings

For a sad character, there’s often a lot going on underneath the surface. So getting inside their head is a great way to explore their unique experience of sadness.

Here are some thoughts and feelings they may be dealing with:

• Heaviness

• Numbness

• Hollowness

• Exhaustion

• Indecision

• Confusion

• Detachment from everyday life

• Dizziness or nausea

• Apathy

• Achiness
  

Just remember to avoid using too many sense verbs. And to show these thoughts and feelings, rather than simply telling a reader about them.  

A quick note on point of view

The point of view you’ve chosen for your story has an impact on how you describe sadness.

For example, if you’re writing from a limited perspective (either in first person or third person limited) you can’t reveal the internal thoughts and feelings of a non-viewpoint character.

Equally, if you’re writing from the first person point of view of a sad protagonist, you probably wouldn’t focus too heavily on that character’s body language and facial expressions. These are signals of sadness that a fellow character (or a narrator) is better equipped to notice and describe.

How to describe sadness in writing: 5 examples from fiction

Have a box of tissues at the ready for these tear-jerking excerpts, all beautiful examples of how to describe sadness in your writing.

(SPOILER ALERT: some of the following excerpts contain spoilers, so tread carefully if you spot a title that you haven’t read yet!)

Jade City – Fonda Lee

When they arrived at the house, she walked past the sentries and found Hilo standing in the kitchen, his hands leaning heavily on the table so his shoulder blades jutted up and his head seemed to hang between him. Like Maik, he dripped with weaponry. He seemed in control of himself but his jade aura heaved and roiled with the fiery consistency of explosive lava. [...]

Elsewhere in the house, she heard Kyanla quietly sobbing.

Hilo raised his head to look at her but didn't move.

"I'm going with you," she said. " I know where we should go."

Hilo straightened and came around the table toward her. She tried to see into his eyes but they were as black and distant as she felt. [He] placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her close, and laid his cheek against hers. "Heaven help me Shae," he whispered into her ear. "I'm going to kill them all."

In this scene, characters are reacting to news of a shocking death. Hilo has a fiery and reactive temper but rarely shows his vulnerability in front of others. Here – thanks to descriptions of body language, dialogue and behaviour – we see him struggling under the weight of his sadness.

Interestingly, because some characters in Jade City are able to detect jade auras, Lee is able to use this magic system to show sadness in another way. Shae can see Hilo’s jade aura and understands how sad and angry he is, even though he seems relatively in control of his emotions.

Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

Slim turned quietly to George. "I guess Lennie done it, all right," he said. "Her neck's bust. Lennie coulda did that."

George didn't answer, but he nodded slowly. His hat was so far down on his forehead that his eyes were covered.

Slim went on, "Maybe like that time in Weed you was tellin' about."

Again George nodded.

Slim sighed. "Well, I guess we got to get him. Where you think he might of went?"

It seemed to take George some time to free his words. "He- would of went south," he said. "We come from north so he would of went south."

George is not a demonstrative character. He tends to keep his emotions under wraps. But in this poignant excerpt, as George realises what the future holds for his friend Lennie, we understand exactly how he is feeling.

Steinbeck shows sadness through George’s slow movements, stilted speech and covered eyes.  

The Final Empire – Brandon Sanderson

"No..." Vin said, tears streaming down her face. She prodded his body, feeling for a pulse. There was none. "You said you couldn't be killed!" she cried. "What of your plans? What of the eleventh metal? What of me?"

He didn't move. Vin had trouble seeing through the tears. It's impossible. He always said we aren't invincible...but that meant me. Not him. Not [name]. He was invincible. He should have been.

Someone grabbed her and she squirmed, crying out.

In this scene we see Vin’s raw emotion in the immediate aftermath of a shocking death. Through dialogue, Vin’s inner thoughts and the fact that she is very visibly crying, we see and understand the depths of her grief.

Cleopatra and Frankenstein – Coco Mellors

Frank cupped his forehead with his palms and looked down.

"What?" she asked. "Too many feelings for you Frank?"

He looked up at her from between his hands.

"It's not fun, you know," he said quietly. "Always being wrong."

He stood up stiffly and left the room and it was like all the light had left with him, leaving Cleo in the shadowed world of her own thoughts once again.

Frank and Cleo are going through a particularly turbulent time in their marriage. They’re fighting constantly and they’re both unhappy with the situation.

This example shows a muted kind of sadness. Frank’s quietness. Cleo’s shadowed world. Their inability to communicate properly. As readers, we understand that these characters are experiencing a pervasive sadness that has built up over time.

The Island of Missing Trees – Elif Shafak

The day his wife fell into a coma from which she never woke, grief settled on this house like a vulture that would not leave until it had gorged itself on every last trace of lightness and joy. For months after Defne was gone, and still every now and then, usually before midnight, Kostas would come to the garden and sit by my side, wrapped in a thin blanket, his eyes red and raw, his moves listless as if he had been dredged against his will from the bottom of a lake. He never cried inside the house, not wishing his daughter to see his suffering.

This passage is told from the perspective of a fig tree that resides in Kostas’ garden. She observes Kostas’ behaviour and appearance. She also describes the way in which sadness has changed the family home.  

The lyrical way in which Shafak chooses to show sadness brings us, as readers, closer to the grief that Kostas is experiencing. By showing sadness, she affects a reader in a much deeper way than she ever could by simply telling.

Want more advice on how to show sadness in writing?

I hope this post has given you some ideas for how to show sadness in writing. But if you want some extra help incorporating emotion into your work in progress, take a look at my copyediting service.

As part of this service, I give in-depth feedback on your story, sentence by sentence, so you can make your narrative as engaging and impactful as it can possibly be.

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